What Happens When Parents Have a Mental Illness?

Sometimes, parents may struggle with physical health problems. Other times, they may experience difficulties with mental health. A parent might feel extremely sad or exhausted, even if nothing obvious happened to cause it. They may not have the energy to play with their children or take part in everyday activities. These experiences could be related to a condition known as mental illness.

What is a Mental Illness?

Mental illness occurs when a person’s thoughts or feelings are not functioning as well as they should. It may lead to persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or irritability without any obvious reason. Some people might feel anxious or afraid of situations that others find normal, such as shopping or being in a crowd. Some may find it harder to concentrate or enjoy the things they usually love. It can feel like everything is gray. Those experiencing mental illness may describe feelings such as having a heavy heart or mental fog. Occasional sadness is a normal part of being human, so having a mental illness goes beyond typical periods of feeling down.

When feeling low, it may be useful to think about activities or strategies that provide relief. For example, you might wish to try the task described in Figure 1, to explore what methods are most effective for you. We used this activity in our research project to support children whose parents had a mental illness. However, if people still have significant emotional distress despite personal coping efforts, they should consult with a doctor, psychotherapist, or other mental health professional. These professionals might recommend therapy and, for some people, certain medications can help with depression (which involves feeling significantly sad and unmotivated). Unlike physical injuries, such as a broken bone, mental illnesses are not always visible. This can make them more difficult to identify in others or in ourselves. However, with the right support, whether through professionals or a supportive conversation, recovery and improvement are possible.

How Does it Feel for Children When a Parent Has a Mental Illness?

Growing up with a parent who has a mental illness can be a challenging and emotionally complex experience. Research shows that roughly one in four children worldwide are currently living with a parent who has a mental illness [1].

These children may not fully understand why their mother or father seems withdrawn, sad, or prefers to remain in bed for some time. As a result, they often feel anxious or uncertain. Some children may also be teased or excluded by their peers at school, especially if their families are perceived as different. As a result, they may avoid inviting friends over for fear of being judged or embarrassed. However, mental illness is far more common than many people might think. In fact, current research shows that one in three people all over the world will experience a mental illness during their life [2]. Therefore, it is not unusual for families to be affected by mental illness.

These children sometimes believe they are responsible for the distress their parent is experiencing. It is important to understand that a parent’s mental health is not a child’s fault. Mental illness can arise from many factors that have nothing to do with the child or their behavior. They can be caused by a complex combination of the environment, life experiences, or biology (e.g., brain chemistry or genetics). In many cases, the cause is unknown. In households where a parent is struggling, children may take on additional tasks, such as cooking, cleaning, or reminding parents to take prescribed medication. These tasks can place a significant emotional burden on young people, leading to stress, fatigue, or sadness. Many children do not speak openly about their situation because they are trying to protect their parent or because they feel it is something to keep secret.

Even when children appear strong, they still require care and support. Studies have shown that children who grow up with a parent who has a mental illness are at a higher risk of developing mental health challenges themselves [3]. However, early support can reduce this risk. Some parents may try to hide their struggles due to the fear of stigma or being judged by others. Nevertheless, it is important to remember that all parents want what is best for their children. Sometimes they simply need additional help. Fortunately, there are caring people who are ready to offer support.

What is The Village?

Our research project, called The Village, was designed to bring a sense of color and positivity back into children’s daily lives. Specifically, we worked with children aged 4–18 years old in Tyrol, Austria, who lived with a parent who had a mental illness. Experts called facilitators played a key role by meeting with parents and their children to explore how to improve the daily life of each child and to better understand the family’s experiences. The goal of The Village was to help children feel less alone and to reassure them that support is always available [4].

What is Life is Like for The Children?

To better understand children’s experiences, we conducted interviews that taught us about their daily routines, responsibilities, and wishes. Many had taken on additional tasks at home, such as cooking meals, cleaning, or helping care for younger siblings. Some children had limited understanding of mental illness and did not fully realize that their parent was struggling with a mental health condition. This often made it difficult for them to make sense of what was happening at home. Several children reported feeling exhausted, and some said that their responsibilities at home made it hard to concentrate in school.

How Did Families Benefit From The Village?

The parents told us they were thankful for the support offered through The Village and welcomed the opportunity to find ways to improve family life. As part of the project, families built a personal support network. This could include family members, friends, or other trusted adults. These supportive individuals could help with household tasks, read stories or play games with the children, or simply be available to listen when a parent felt overwhelmed. By sharing responsibilities within this support network, pressure on the children was reduced, giving them more time to play, learn, and enjoy their childhoods.

What Did Children Learn?

Through interactive games, the children talked about the people who matter most to them and the activities they enjoy. The Village helped them discover that they are not alone and that there are people who care and want to help. Figure 2 shows a digital tool we created and used to help children map their support networks.

Did The Village Make a Difference?

With support from the project, many parents began having open conversations with their children about their mental health [5]. This helped children better understand why their parent might be feeling tired or why others were offering help at home. Together, families made plans for what to do when a parent was not feeling well. Parents appreciated the fact that The Village facilitators listened without judgement and focused on the positive aspects of family life. Over time, children felt more confident about asking for help and less worried about being judged. They became more relaxed and reassured, knowing that their parent’s illness was not their fault and that support was available. Figure 3 includes comments from children about their experiences in the project.

What Did The Village Facilitators Think?

Facilitators felt that spending time with families was really special, even if it was not always easy. They learned that every family is different, so it is important to take time to get to know each other and build trust. It helps when parents feel safe enough to talk about what is going on. Sometimes facilitators visited families at home, especially when it was hard for parents to go to appointments. At home, facilitators and parents could talk, explore nature nearby, or do something creative.

Playing together with kids was a great way to connect: riding bikes, drawing, listening to music, or just getting a big hug. Some kids were quiet, withdrawn, or upset, and others were eager for attention. But after spending time together and having open conversations, many kids felt more relaxed. They realized that it is okay to feel sad sometimes, and that it is also okay to laugh, play, and just be a kid. Overall, the time facilitators spent with the families was full of life, variety, and truly worth it.

What Happens Next?

The Village supported many families, but there is still important work to be done. Many people remain hesitant to talk about mental illness or to seek help. This stigma is one reason why some families might have chosen not to participate in this project. Encouraging families to accept support from programs like The Village can be a big challenge. However, asking for help can improve daily life, and it creates moments for connection and understanding.

As researchers, we aim to share our findings widely so more people understand how The Village can benefit families. It is important to talk about the things that worry us because there are always people in our lives, in our social network who care and can help.

Glossary

Mental Health: ↑ How we think, feel, and cope with daily life, relationships, and challenges. Good mental health helps us manage stress and enjoy life.

Mental Illness: ↑ Health conditions that affect thoughts, feelings, or behavior and can make daily life harder. They are common and can be treated with the right support.

Facilitators: ↑ Adults who worked with families in The Village to help them make their support networks. These adults came from different backgrounds including psychology, social work, or education.

Support Network: ↑ People and services that actively provide help, care, or guidance when someone is struggling, including professionals, community services, and trusted individuals.

Stigma: ↑ Unfair judgments or negative attitudes toward someone because of a trait, such as mental illness, that can cause shame or fear and make people less likely to seek help.

Social Network: ↑ People around you, in your family and in your community, who you could ask for help when you need it.

Acknowledgments

We would like to thank Adis Šerifović for illustrating the comic book based on this research, which is available upon request. He also created the drawing featured in this paper. We also want to thank all the children and parents who were involved in our research and shared their thoughts and wishes about what would be helpful for them. Our research was done at the Medical University Innsbruck and the Ludwig Boltzmann Society and we received funding from the Austrian Ministry of Science and Research to carry out the project. We also had partners from universities and research organizations in other countries who all collaborated to make the research successful.

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Conflict of Interest

The author(s) declared that this work was conducted in the absence of any commercial or financial relationships that could be construed as a potential conflict of interest.