What is Anxiety?

Have you ever felt a little scared or nervous about something new or different? Maybe you felt this way when you started at a new school or had to talk in front of a lot of people. Maybe your tummy did flips, or your palms got sweaty, or maybe your heart was beating super-fast. That feeling is anxiety! Anxiety is a feeling of worry that just will not quit. It can make it hard to sleep, pay attention in school, or even have fun with friends. But anxiety is not all bad—it can also be helpful sometimes. Anxiety makes you more alert, like when you look both ways before crossing the street. It is a completely normal feeling that everyone gets from time to time, and it is the body’s way of saying, “Hey, pay attention! Something important is happening”!

Even though it is a normal feeling, did you know that some kids feel scared quite often? Even as babies, they are very scared of new things, like a new toy that makes a lot of noise. We call this a fearful temperament.

The Case of Leo

Scientists like us are curious about how young kids with a fearful temperament feel when they grow up. Some research has already shown that these kids may grow up to be more anxious, depressed, or shy [1–3]. Imagine a friend named Leo. When Leo was little, he was scared of loud noises and of trying new things. He would not go down the slide at the park or join in games with other kids. These are all normal fears, but some kids seem to experience them more intensely than others. Did Leo grow up to be anxious and scared of everything?

Our study looked at 2,730 kids: we asked their parents how anxious the kids were as babies (e.g., by asking if their baby would refuse to go to a person they did not know). Some of the kids were scared like Leo, and some were not as scared. Then, we checked in with them again when they were 13 years old. We found that most kids who were easily scared as babies were also more scared as teenagers. But here is the interesting part: not all kids who felt scared a lot as babies grew up to be anxious. So, why do some kids develop anxiety while others do not?

Friends Matter

We discovered that how kids interact with other kids can play a role in how anxious they feel as they get older. This is not surprising: as kids grow up, their friendships become super important. Kids generally spend a lot of time with their friends, and friends can really influence how kids feel about themselves and the world around them [4].

In our study, we focused on friendship and peer relations by asking the 13-year-old kids to play a ball-throwing game with other kids on the computer (Figure 1). But there was a trick: they were not actually playing with other kids! We just made them think they were, so we could see how they would react. The computer decided who the “other kids” would throw the ball to, and at some point, the real kids in our study did not get any ball anymore.

After the game, we asked the kids how they felt after being rejected by the “other kids” (which, remember, was really just the computer). We found that teenagers who felt bad after rejection were more likely to feel anxious, especially if they were also scared a lot as babies (Figure 2). It makes sense: if you are already anxious about new things, getting rejected by somebody might make you feel even worse. It could make you want to hide instead of trying again.

Feeling bad during the game about being excluded did not seem to make fearful babies more anxious as teenagers, but feeling bad after being left out did. This could be because these kids kept thinking about what happened over and over again. This is called rumination, and it is something that can make teenagers anxious [5].

This research shows that how kids interact with others affects how anxious they feel as they grow up. Kids who are naturally more scared might be more sensitive to how others treat them. If they have friends who make them feel good about themselves, they might feel less anxious. But if they are bullied or feel left out, they might feel more anxious.

When it comes to friends, it is not just about how good the friendships are, but also about the type of friends you have. Some friends can help you feel less scared or anxious by showing you how to make friends and talk to people. By studying how friendships and social interactions affect our feelings of fear and anxiety, researchers can learn how to help kids feel happier and more confident as they grow up.

Do Not Worry, Be a Friend!

So, if you are a teenager who feels anxious, what can you do? First, remember you can learn how to cope with rejection. This is like learning a new skill, such as riding a bike! The more you practice dealing with situations where you feel left out, the better you will get at handling them. Also, practice facing your fears. Start small! Even if you are scared to try something new, give it a shot anyway. The more you do it, the easier it gets. For example, if you are scared of dogs, maybe ask a friend whose dog you know is friendly if you can pet it for a short time.

Another thing you can do to help your anxiety is to learn relaxation techniques. Deep breathing exercises or mindfulness (focusing on the present moment) can help calm your mind and body and make you feel less afraid. Lastly, talk it out. If you are feeling worried or anxious, sharing how you feel with a trusted friend or grown-up can be a big help. They can help you figure out ways to feel better.

What can you do to help other kids who feel shy or scared? Be a friend! If you see someone who seems shy or scared, reach out and say hi! Invite them to play a game or have lunch with you.

If you feel anxious, remember you are not alone. Feeling scared or anxious sometimes is totally normal. But if you worry a lot and it is affecting your daily life, like making it hard to have fun or make friends, there are people who can help and there are things you can do to feel braver and happier!

Glossary

Anxiety: ↑ A worried or scared feeling everyone sometimes gets.

Fearful Temperament: ↑ Being scared of and avoiding new or unfamiliar things frequently.

Rejection: ↑ When someone does not choose you or include you in something.

Rumination: ↑ Thinking about the same thing again and again, even when you do not want to.

Social Interactions: ↑ How people communicate and play with others, like making friends, talking, and having fun together.

Relaxation Techniques: ↑ Activities that help you calm your mind and body, like deep breathing.

Mindfulness: ↑ A relaxation technique in which you focus on the present moment and your thoughts and feelings, without judging them.

Conflict of Interest

The author(s) declared that this work was conducted in the absence of any commercial or financial relationships that could be construed as a potential conflict of interest.

Acknowledgments

We sincerely thank our two young reviewers, Jacob and Yee Shuen, for their thoughtful feedback and enthusiasm during the review process. Jacob’s passion for science—especially chemistry and understanding how chemical reactions happen at the molecular level—brought curiosity and insightful questions that helped us improve the clarity of our explanations. Yee Shuen, a high school senior who enjoys reading widely from classics to literary fiction, offered careful comments and a fresh perspective that strengthened the readability of this article. This project has received funding from the European Union’s Horizon 2020 research and innovation program under the Marie Sklodowska- Curie grant agreement No 101026595. The Generation R Study is conducted by the Erasmus Medical Center in close collaboration with the Erasmus School of Social and Behavioral Sciences of the Erasmus University Rotterdam, the Municipal Health Service Rotterdam area, Rotterdam, the Rotterdam Homecare Foundation, Rotterdam and the Stichting Trombosedienst & Artsenlaboratorium Rijnmond (STARMDC), Rotterdam. We gratefully acknowledge the contribution of children and parents, general practitioners, hospitals, midwives and pharmacies in Rotterdam. The general design of the Generation R Study is made possible by financial support from the Erasmus Medical Center, Rotterdam, the Erasmus University Rotterdam, the Netherlands Organization for Health Research and Development, and the Ministry of Health, Welfare and Sport.

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